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|A Surgeon's Brush with Emotional Genius
The little chamber orchestra playing secular music for a couple of Christian missionaries was the first clue this wedding was going to be different. The second clue was the barefoot bridesmaids with matching ankle bracelets. It was a typical Fort Worth, scorching afternoon; and the heat just seemed to shimmer around the old Methodist Church. After the bridesmaids came the bride, Kimmie, just as barefoot as the day she was born.
Growing up with her missionary parents in Africa, Kimmie never much cared for shoes. She was however, gorgeous in a strapless long white wedding gown. Jacob, the groom, waited for his bride to be with a splitting smile. They beamed at each other with such happiness; their vows seemed eclipsed by the simple beauty of their love.
Sealing their marriage with a passionate kiss, released by the minister, they turned together and skipped down the aisle and into their future; much to the smiles of their guests. Barely a dry eye in the house, the crowd rose to their feet for the procession.
The bride mother and father, glowing in their own right, followed the wedding party down the aisle. Just as they reached the last pews the Father of the Bride saw an old gentleman, standing near the aisle, tears streaming down his face. The two men embraced. A silent moment of understanding and gratitude passed between them.
The sodden cheeked cowboy, dapperly dressed in full regalia suite, boots, big belt buckle, and bolo tie Kimmie surgeon, Dr. Creighton Edwards. Together they knew what she had endured to skip down that aisle. As her father said later, these years we thought we be planning a funeral. Who knew we be planning a wedding. Kimmie was eighteen months old doctors found a large, solid tumor in her vagina. The standard treatment at that time for such a virulent, dangerous tumor was a full Pelvic vagina, uterus, ovaries, and often the bladder and rectum, too. This radical surgery would leave the baby girl with a colostomy bag, a urinary diversion, and no female sex and hormonal organs.
With advances in chemo and radiation therapy, Dr. Edwards argued for a less radical surgery. Skillfully, he only removed Kimmie vagina, where the tumor was located, and created the urinary diversion.
Kimmie was able to grow up with her own ovaries intact. Just before she hit puberty she underwent another surgery to create her a new vagina.
Unfortunately, in her late teenage years the cancer came back. Twice. Finally they had to remove her uterus and ovaries. And yet, as the unique wedding revealed, here was a twenty seven year old, happy, healthy, young woman; primed for a new life, together with her husband carrying on her parent mission, spreading the good news of Christ love for everyone.
Dr. Creighton Edwards is a fine example of Emotional Intelligence. He a 73 year old, old school, gentleman doctor; now on staff at The Baylor College of Medicine. They call him the Cowboy Surgeon because he always operates in his boots. His specialty is Gyn Oncology reproductive cancer.
Dr. Edwards is internationally respected as an innovative surgeon, teacher, and doctor. One of his most unusual talents; however, is patient care. In a time when doctors in general, cancer doctors in particular, treat patients like objects, Dr. Edwards is known for his care; his ability to be present with his patients through all the many stages of their treatment. He has the rare Emotional IQ to stay gently, fiercely open hearted and connected to his patients, even till death in many cases. Creighton is a genius with Emotional IQ.
I seen many of my own friends die of AIDS and didn manage my own emotions and grief as well as I would have liked. I asked Dr. Edwards once how he stays open and caring in the face of so much dying. He said simply, think of all the lives I UGG Boots Outlet help and save. It gives me strength. Certainly moments like the joy and tears at Kimmie wedding help to make it worth while. And then there the quality of Living given to those who hear Cancer clarion call, no matter what the outcome of their diagnosis.
Peaking Emotional IQ requires us to master our emotions. So often we are hijacked by these powerful feelings that course through our bodies; helpless to change how we react to them. Raising our Emotional IQ, our emotional maturity, passes through three stages of development: Selfish, Care, and Cosmic Care.
Emotional IQ at Selfish is the in it for me phase. It also the stage where we treat other people as objects rather than human beings. This is where many doctors retreat to deal with the overwhelming grief and stress of their jobs easier to treat people like things instead of feel their pain and fear.
Care is the level of Emotional development when we genuinely care for the other people in our lives. The focus changes from Me (as in Selfish) to Us (as in Care). This shift is an important and necessary change of perspective for Emotional growth.
Cosmic Care is the open heartedness to all of life, All of Us; the shift from Us (Care) to All of Us (Cosmic Care). At Cosmic Care we love all of humanity deeply, our animal friends; the dance of the sky/earth song around us. This peak of care also requires a tremendous open heartedness to the suffering of the world around us, with the ability to stay centered in ourselves without being tossed away by our deepening emotions.
Emotional IQ also includes three other domains of living: Breath, Diet, and Sacred Sex. You may have noticed the powerful effects that breathing, food and drink, and sexual desire can have on your emotions, or vice versa.
It worth noting that many of the compulsions and addictions prominent in American society; smoking, over/under eating, binge drinking, and sex are ways people cope with their emotions. Peaking Emotional IQ requires us to master the flow of our emotions, our breath, nutrition, and the art of sacred sex.
A simple Exercise for Growing Emotional IQ
Center and Stretch my last article I stressed the importance of It the foundation of all martial arts movement. Centering also has an emotional facet (and a mental, moral, and spiritual component, but that another Oprah). When we are emotionally centered we feel at peace with peace with ourselves everyone around us. Grow that sense of peace and recognize it intimately.
I use a simple breath to bring me to center when I feel hijacked by anger, or fear, or doubt. It so effective I call it the Valium Breath.
Breathe in for a count of three
Breathe out for a count of six
Breathe like this for a minute, two, five, or ten. The emphasis on the exhale actually soothes our nerves, relaxes our body, and calms our mind.
When I practice to my emotional center I can walk into intense situations and actually hold on to my peace of heart; or al least bounce back quickly.
The more I Stretch myself in this way the easier it is to Be Present with people and my circumstances without losing it. I can be with what is happening, my reality, as my friend. In this way I can demonstrate the kind of Emotional Genius Dr. Creighton Edwards shows with his patients.
The names are changed to protect their privacy.
Massage therapist Alan Davidson is on a mission to help people to live the good life.
Over the last twenty years, Alan UGGS Outlet has learned how to fall deeply in love with being alive, and infatuated with being fully present in his life. This is quite a transformation from the man who in 1987 was running with flashing high/crashing low crowd partying, drinking and shooting drugs.
According to Davidson, story of transformation began when I moved to Houston in 1980 to be a bartender to the fabulous. And we were fabulous. We had more fun in a three day weekend than entire state of Oklahoma had in a year. Then AIDS hit hard and my friends started dying. Out for our group of about 50 friends, only 5 of us are still alive today. continues just knew I was HIV positive since I shared needles with people who had already died from AIDS. When my first HIV test came back negative, I knew that Fate herself had spared me form the executioner. says Davidson.